Have you called the operator lately? Like, if you dial “0,” is there still someone there to direct...
If you’ve ever listened to an intro or an interlude on an En Vogue (or really, any ‘90s R&B girl group) album, you have some idea how I spoke when I was in 3rd grade.
“MmmmmChiiiild!”
“I wouldn’t take that if I were you!”
“Well I never!”… “mmm hmmm, and you never will!”
Here are a few other things I picked up from the song lyrics of my all-time favorite girl group.
1. “My first mistake was I wanted too much time.”
Moderation is the key to relationships, and boys have short attention spans so “hold on to your love.”
2. “He’s a mighty good man. You gotta say it again now!”
Because, while he may be a mighty, mighty good man, he’s still a man, which means he probably wasn’t listening.
3. “When you’re lacking, you’re losing! And I’m out the door!”
Ditch losers.
4. “I can’t change your mind/you can’t change my color.”
Sadly, I would always be a white girl.
5. “Denny, drop that beat!”
This refers to En Vogue’s producer Denzil Foster. Basically, I learned that if you are a funky diva, you can boss around whomever you please.
6. “Hip Hop lover, you’re too young for me.”
I guess this was prior to cougar culture. But I’ll go ahead and credit this as the reason I always dated older dudes.
7. “It takes a fool to learn that love don’t love nobody, and it sure don’t love you.”
Love blows.
Thank you for the lifetime of knowledge, En Vogue.
Now should I tell you what those condom-wearing cuties from TLC taught me?
