Everything I Need to Know I Learned From En Vogue

If you’ve ever listened to an intro or an interlude on an En Vogue (or really, any ‘90s R&B girl group) album, you have some idea how I spoke when I was in 3rd grade.

“MmmmmChiiiild!”

“I wouldn’t take that if I were you!”

“Well I never!”… “mmm hmmm, and you never will!”

Here are a few other things I picked up from the song lyrics of my all-time favorite girl group.

1. “My first mistake was I wanted too much time.”

Moderation is the key to relationships, and boys have short attention spans so “hold on to your love.”

2. “He’s a mighty good man. You gotta say it again now!”  

Because, while he may be a mighty, mighty good man, he’s still a man, which means he probably wasn’t listening.

3.  “When you’re lacking, you’re losing! And I’m out the door!”

Ditch losers.

4. “I can’t change your mind/you can’t change my color.”

Sadly, I would always be a white girl.

5. “Denny, drop that beat!”

This refers to En Vogue’s producer Denzil Foster. Basically, I learned that if you are a funky diva, you can boss around whomever you please.

6. “Hip Hop lover, you’re too young for me.”

I guess this was prior to cougar culture. But I’ll go ahead and credit this as the reason I always dated older dudes.

7. “It takes a fool to learn that love don’t love nobody, and it sure don’t love you.”

Love blows.

Thank you for the lifetime of knowledge, En Vogue.

Now should I tell you what those condom-wearing cuties from TLC taught me?